It is time to face facts.

At which point do you throw in the towel and admit defeat? When do you decide to give up on a lost cause and hit the ejector button?

For months now, I have been trying to make money in many different ways. I design stuff, I photograph people and places, I write articles and blog posts, and I hunt for full-time work.

At some point, you might think that something would fall into place, the planets would align, and an answer to all of my worries would make itself known to me, wouldn’t you?

Well, I’ve been waiting and hoping for some of my ideas and activities to bear fruit. A call with a job offer of some sort, a reply to one of the hundreds of job applications that I have filled in and dutifully sent off? You would think after 16 months of toil, something would materialise, wouldn’t you?

There is no easy way to say it; I need money. I need money to contribute to the well being of both my family and myself.

My wife works her arse off in a great job with low pay and few prospects. She is the breadwinner, she is the one keeping us afloat, just. The cost of living is going up daily, yet our income seems to be going down. We are no longer eligible for working tax credits, and the child tax credits that we receive have also seen a steady decline over the last year.

I know that I have struggled to pay the bills of late. That has been very stressful and is beginning to become an issue. The constant juggling of our finances is a massive time suck. I’ve worked out a way forward that should make budgeting a bit easier, but I am still going to be pulling in our belts a bit tighter yet.

Our most significant expenditure is food and fuel for the car. The cost of both of those commodities (necessities) is rising at an alarming rate. I read something the other day that said “the cost of a litre of petrol will be at an average of £1.30 per litre by the new year”; that is insane! With the cost of fuel going up we will see the price of food go up faster as the supermarkets begin to pass on the additional fuel costs to us the customer.

We can’t use our car any less than we are at the moment. It will be different in the springtime. Karta and I will be able to walk home from school, that in and of itself will save a gallon of petrol per week. It all adds up.

Our food shop will change dramatically too. From January, I’ll be cooking all of our meals from scratch. I’ll return to home baking our bread, and I will be using a reasonably rigid menu plan each week.

We will also be looking very carefully at unnecessary spending, to be sure that anything we purchase is a need, not want. I’ll also be looking at changing energy suppliers too.

So, as you can see, we are close to the black hole and even closer to the event horizon, that point where the black hole grabs you and begins to suck you into a place from which you will never escape.

The good thing is that I have a plan, a good solid idea. If I stick to it, we will escape and start on a journey to a better life.

Until next time, adieu.